Saying goodbye to honor me,
Starting fresh
Stepping into my Truth with power and softness.
Silently at first I walk,
my head held high
confident.
My wings outstretched and glistening
rediscovering their freedom.
A sensation stirs in my womb
aching to dance.
Re-birthed with compassion
and alive through passion
A ferocious gentleness emerges.
In this silky radiance love bursts forth
I begin to open again and prepare to celebrate my victory,
recognizing my worth,
empowering myself….
AND THEN…
A stabbing pain plunges through my heart
The victim sulking inside rises up with brute force
screaming relentlessly in sorrow
Why did you do this to us?
Why did you take away our happiness?
I rocked the boat and the anchor of grief tied to my heart,
began to sink me into the depths of a dark sea of victim mentality.
Poor me, all alone
blaming this and that,
everyone and everything else,
Taking no responsibility
I CAN’T DO THIS AGAIN.
This power sucking, energy draining, narrow perception.
The voices continue to scream in breath crushing sobs
What is wrong with me?
Rejected again – not good enough – want to die – no reason for my existence.
A tug of war between my truth,
and this ego driven worthless attitude.
I recognize this pattern, I STOP.
Reasoning with this part of me and arguing with her does not work.
I did NOT want to admit that she still existed with all the healing I have done,
and yet here she was.
A little girl standing before me
questioning why it took so long for me to recognize that she mattered?
I softened,
feeling more space open around me
listening without judgement,
I witnessed her,
I gathered all our pain and allowed it to wash through me.
Then rooted in my strength
with compassion,
I open again into loving myself unconditionally
Celebrating the victory I have come to embody
My existence matters,
I MATTER!
~Lynndel~
